Rage Against the Machine: How They Took the Hot Water and Gave Me Three Drunken Irish Destructo-Bots

For the first week of my time here, I had two clean Americans, an overactive boiler, and all the hot water and water pressure of home. Oh, what glorious days were those!

Four nights ago the heat quit working in Megan's and my rooms.

Three nights ago our three Irish housemates arrived.

Two nights ago the hot water and water pressure started getting iffy.

This morning at around 4 am, I awoke to the smell of burned bacon and all the lights in the house being on. I stumbled out of my room to see what was going on, silence pervaded. I get to the living room: No one is in there, the TV is still half on (weird Irish tv thing), there are two large blanket/mattress pads piled over the chair and one of the little tables, all of the furniture on one wall has been pulled out and left randomly. The ashtray is placed under on of the chairs. Inexplicably, the oven mit is in the corner behind the couch. I turn to the kitchen: All the appliances are OFF thank god, the table has been pushed to the wall and the chairs are placed randomly around, there is a piece of bacon on the floor, remnants of one of my babybel cheeses trailing to the living room, and our kitchen towel laid out on the ground as though it is covering a spill but gentle prodding with my slipper reveals nothing but burnt bacon crumbs.

If you would like to hear my theory on what went on last night, you may message me your email address and I will send you my version. I am not posting it here as the Destructo-Bots that have recently replaced my charming housemates may find it "offensive" and go Terminator on me.

Later this morning I have NO hot water and the magical maintenance men have replaced the control box in our boiler cupboard. I begin to suspect that the magical maintenance men are in fact evil robots like the Irish Destructo-Bots that have moved in with us. Hit the hot water "boost" button and nothing happened. Also deeply suspicious that button is just there to shut us frivolous Americans up about our fancy-shmancy TEMPERATURE CONTROL ON THE INDOOR PLUMBING!!!! Well, Ireland, I was in Alaska for three weeks camping, I can play this game. We will see who gets sick of smelling who first.

UPDATE: 12:12 noon

Destructo-Bots: Still in Standby mode, likely recharging for another night of alcohol fueled raging
Living room/Kitchen: A Pit
Water: Improved to "tepid"